My Father-In-Law

[theson24]

I am not one to post personal issues, but the last couple days have been difficult. My in-laws live about a 90 minute drive west of us. My father-in-law passed away unexpectedly in his sleep at approx 4AM Thursday morning. He grew up dirt poor, was abused as a child, had an 8th grade education, and ended up being a general contractor with several people working for him. Let's just say that I respected and loved the man. My wife is an only child. My mother-in-law has never worked and has never handled finances or investments. I work in finance and am going through his bank accts, investments, oil/gas/mineral rights, etc. We have a 100 acre farm, heavy equipment, work truck, Ford 4dr dually diesel truck, motorcycle, and another vehicle to sell/auction off. He liked expensive toys.......gold coins, silver bar from a shipwreck, etc. Let's just say that my MIL does not have money issues. My estimates are about $1.4 million in value not counting monthly checks for oil royalties, mineral rights for a gravel pit, and social security. Now getting to the point......my wife being an only child......my MIL and I get along well.....all of us in shock from the sudden death. We are thinking about selling our current house and buying a house with an in-law suite after the farm sells. Not sure if MIL would buy the house outright, split the cost, or etc yet. My MIL and I get along great and my wife wants her close. My MIL is 67 and gets around okay, but not great. Any thoughts on having a MIL living in an in-law suite?

Thanks for listening to me ramble. I needed to get that out somewhere. If you need any more info.....ask away. And thanks in advance.
-Chris

 

[gr8dain]

Sorry for your loss and good luck. I have finished my basement such that it has an in law sweet. Kitchenette, full bath, bedroom as big as the master, an a family room. Prepped for my mother in law as she is asian and that was expected. It hasn't happened yet, but will probably happen within the next 5 years or so.

Once again, i am sorry to hear about your loss.

 

[pav1]

buy something together and make sure that you have a split on the house 50/50 30/70....etc. with the lawyer when you transfer the deed

make sure you also get who pays property taxes, heat, hydro....etc at the lawyers office as well.

you must get everything in writing so there's no worry for the future and if it goes south, everybody knows what they will walk away with at the start.

my inlaws live with us... most important words...separate entrance/separate living

 

[certifiablejeep]

I can't second it enough strongly... GET IT IN WRITING, no matter what... we had a long lost sibling come forward when we had a recent death... no one knew about them and honestly caused a whole lot more problems, and it really screwed things up badly. Probate is a B**** in what you have to do.

cb

 

[scrambler81]

My mother lived on her own for 10 years after my father passed. Eventually my sister convinced her to move in with her and her family. It worked very well. My sister and her husband wanted a new house, so my mother paid the cost of the addtional suite that she would live in. It was basically a living room, large bedroom, full bath and a walk in closet. My mother was no longer living alone, or driving all over South Jersey by herself, and she was a big help with my niece and nephew. When my mother's health started to fade, my sister and her husband were there for her - the rest of us stopped by to help them.
As long as everyone understands the adjustments that will need to be made, it should be a rewarding experience for all of you. Since there are no other siblings to consider, or to complicate matters, it should be a very easy arrangement to make.

 

[Randyzzz]

Sorry for your loss. If you all get along, it can be a great situation. We recently moved in together with our Daughter and her family. We have our own little "suite" in the house, and share everything else. It's great being around the grandkids all the time. (Well, most of the time )

My mom still lives on her own, she's 87 but young for her age...and she has a great friend/support network but we're planning on the eventuality when she can't be on her own any more.

 

[Robert Slone]

I'm very sorry for your family's loss.

I think as long as she has a private entrance, bath and kitchen (or kitchenette) things should be fine. My parents live in the house next door which my wife inherited 10 years ago from her aunt. My mother is in the hospital right now with a broken leg and not likely to come home again. She's 83 and in weak health and now she'll probably be in a facility with 24 hour care for the rest of her life. My wife and I are discussing moving my dad in with us just so he won't have to stay in the house by himself.